Picture this better fam: Feelin every minute of my years I make my way to the front porch to feed half the dadgumned neighborhood along with my own cats, noted the turkeys lurking along the road and thought to myself ‘they prob want cat food too doggone it’. Got the nagging lil cuties their food and water. Petted them, trying socialize the feral kitties and the poor momma someone dropped off. Chuckled as I thought of how many squats I get just loving on these lil creatures 😁 Feeling a bit perkier I make my way into the house and lo and behold upon my door frame foot board what did I see? Three of the freakiest mutants God ever made... they might have been wolf spiders but I wasn’t wanting to make friends. I hopped over the lil buggers and scooted them outside with the bowl I fed the cats with and after swiping the first two I was feeling pretty confident. When I went to swipe the second one, he went all ninja and leapt right over the bowl toward me. You better believe I dug deep for a lil ninja of my own and buddy I moved faster than I have in awhile and was back with my shoe and was smacking him before you could say ‘jesus save me’ Well, I missed. He hid. And I legit had an oh crap moment... only I didn’t say crap. Couldn’t scream for @Coach Alex VanHouten either but I was thanking the Lord @Coach Jess and @Amber weren’t there cuz then we’d have had total chaos with all the screaming. So I did the only thing any reasonable senile old woman would do... I ran to the back and grabbed my nieces cat for some kitty back up and proceeded to hunt him down. I practiced my breathing... think yogi master, think @ktcrawford she wouldn’t let no spider get the best of her. I moved my speaker, shoe in hand, kitty all fired up, ready for anything. There he was! Looking at me at me like: come at me bro! So I did... I went all F3 on his 8 legged self and beat him into oblivion with my shoe.... channeling the strength of @jerrad76 and @patlee.tn I showed the kitty what we were hunting and felt his satisfaction as he pawed at it. I disposed of the remains and thought... I did it! I survived lol. I feel a bit more lively after that and I wonder... did God let a chuckle slip at that one. I’m pretty sure those spiders aren’t the principalities paul referenced but I fought the spiders like I would those. Now if only I could handle myself with that kind of manic strength. I grieved the life I took for a moment but consoled myself with this thought... he didn’t pay rent and had no right to enter my home, I did what any half crazed senile old woman afraid of spiders would do 😁 Time to spray lol walk softly better fam, but carry a big stick (for those spiders) and may God bless you with the grace and strength and whatever else you need to face your own challenges and prevail. Above all... may you know joy!

Posted by kat at 2022-09-24 14:30:56 UTC